Her (Essay)

Words by Raury.

When my life became completely consumed with music (after high school), things became different–not just for me, but for everyone close to me.

Fame puts you on a rapid path to growth and change, a path that makes those around you fearful of the two of you growing apart. When you’re in a new city each week or busy each time they call, it’s only natural they become doubtful as to how they fit in your life.

The love I met in high school became the most worried of all. We used to skip lunch to smoke cigarettes in the baseball field of Clarkston High School. She was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. I was surprised to have found her in such a run down high school in the hood. Majority of our students were refugees experiencing their first years in America. Some good, some gangsta. But, it was a dangerous and cool place to be.

Once I started traveling a lot, I’d got to a level of dedication and focus that left no room for a relationship. Not to mention us having a lot more growing to do–with me damn near being a polygamist and her, I believe, suffering with depression–we just weren’t ready to be this serious. I wasn’t going to be able to promise her what she wanted, and she had to learn about self-love.

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I wanted to be everything for her, and I tried the best I could. But, I realized we couldn’t be kids any more…Promising each other we’ll be together forever. I chose to let my calling, and my purpose on this world, consume me for the time being.

“The Sea” is about her.

I still love her with all my heart, but what’s going on here is much bigger than us. If it’s meant to be, love will always remain–no matter what. She still comes before anyone…Anyone.