Words by Jessica Joyce Jacolbe.
“Who’s paying?” is an age old question that reaches back into the depths of chivalry, which is a dark past of wage inequality between the sexes. However, in this post-modern dating world, technology has added another operation to the already complicated dating equation.
Last month, the New York Post reported on how “cheap bros” are getting away with not paying for the entire date. The piece interviewed three young women who woke up one morning to find a Venmo payment request for a date from the night before.
It’s a pretty slick move, though of course greatly petty. Hitting “request” on the app and demanding your money doesn’t necessarily require previous communication, which the financial expert in the New York Post advises couples do. Communicating on Venmo has the premise of monetary demand which is not what I’d like to wake up to nor prompt my financial stress.
With chivalry sometimes comes the unwise assumption that in a heterosexual relationship, the guy may be earning more and will therefore pay for the date. As Alexandra Schwartz suggests in The New Yorker, the reason that a guy may seek reimbursement for a date is because he didn’t get his money’s worth.
Beginning my day by finding out a guy wants a reimbursement for last night’s date would only make me question if last night was a date or not. Who would’ve thought that thinking so would make me “old fashion.”
On the first date a man should be a gentleman and pay. Then on the other dates once the couple is more familiar with each other they can start alternating or sharing the bill like nice civil human beings.