5 Places Where You Can Cry in Public Safely: Miami

Courtesy of official site.
As part of our Maps series, we suggest the perfect public places to have a good cathartic sob.
Words by Aura Jones. Map by Sam Liacos.

Miami has earned a reputation for its sex appeal and glamour on account of its crystalline shores, sky-high subtropic luxury, strip clubs, and beautiful people. If you take a closer look, you can put your finger right on its deep Caribbean veins, and trace right to the open portal to hell that is 95S at Ives Dairy. Plenty of us have allowed ourselves one good cry, as a treat, in the bumper-to-bumper purgatory. A purge to wash away the stress of running late, a breakup, a predictably under-romanced Valentine’s Day, a novel virus which makes work, and thus stability, a delusion. Which begs the question, where does one schedule a personal meltdown with minimal plague exposure? Here are some of the best places in Miami for a cathartic sob.

1. Nite Owl Theater & Tropical Market (Edgewater/Downtown, 1400 NE 1st Ave)

Tucked away between stacks of high-rise condos in Edgewater is the perfect hiding place within the metropolis to schedule a broody movie night you can enjoy from the insulated solitude of your car. It’s equipped with a high power industrial laser projector and plenty of cult classics. Pick your movie time, choose your “seat,” connect to FM radio and order snacks and concessions to be delivered straight to your car.

2. Skyviews Miami (Bayside Marketplace, 401 Biscayne Blvd)

At 176 feet high, this is no average ferris wheel. The Skyviews Observation Wheel sits at a waterfront overlook of Biscayne Bay and the Downtown Miami skyline, complete with climate-controlled, enclosed gondolas–offering a brief aerial vacation (and a glass-bottom VIP rental, if you’d like to weep while seated in the lap of luxury) from whatever you’d like to see turned to tiny ants beneath your feet.

3. The Center For Subtropical Affairs (Little River, 7145 NW 1st Ct)

A personal favorite. An ecological learning center and open air market by day, secret garden and watering hole (OK, more so bar) by night. It’s lush and leafy, adorned with sparkling lights and windy trails into hidden nooks and crannies with lonely benches and plants waiting for your company. You can fall in by accident on any day of your choosing and find wonderful programming, from local craft vendors, live musicians to DJs. The number of crying corners at your disposal to shuffle are very much emphasized here.

4. Casa Florida (Little Havana, 437 SW 2nd St)

In an old Key West style beach house hides a vintage cocktail bar and  bungalow suites for travelers and staycation seekers alike. Across the lawn is a 1969 GM bus that’s been transformed into a dimly lit lounge with cushiony seats. Wander into the front house for an even cuter pity party to sit and salt the rim of a carefully crafted tropical elixir. Five-star rating for the pink flamingo alone.

5. South Pointe Park (South Beach, 1 Washington Ave)

We couldn’t possibly forget the beach. After all, “the cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.” There’s been some debate around who put that so masterfully. She, author Karen Blixen, knew something. All roads lead to South Pointe Park, where these trifecta of natural remedies meet and kiss. A local favorite and gem among the vast stretch of beaches, with water so flat and so clear, it’s almost easy to forget you’re stateside. Pick from a row of shady trees and prickly grass and cruise ship gaze parkside, stick your toes in the sand, baptize yourself, or wander off to the pier for some alone time. 

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