Ahead of the release of her debut book of poems, Moments in Love, multi-hyphenate creative Amor Capdevila talks about personal growth and the infinite variations of love.
The transience of a moment can be fleeting, but for Los Angeles-based poet, Reiki practitioner, and photographer Amor Capdevila, memories of love are all one needs for a moment to remain infinite. Capdevila’s debut, self-published book of poems, Moments in Love, encapsulates the myriad vulnerabilities tied to love, from mutual understanding, finding acceptance after enduring trauma to one reacquainting themselves to the possibility of love.
“I wanted to paint the picture that we are always moving through love, whether we feel a lack or abundance. So the poems were sectioned by the emptiness, the building up of, and fullness of love,” Capdevila shared with ILY.
With natural repose, the compassion of Capdevila’s skills in Reiki and photography easily translates to her fearless intimacy through poetry. Baring her soul in written form through Moments in Love, Capdevila welcomes readers into her inner world through pictures of her loved ones—even dedicating select poems for friends and relatives, including her late-grandmother. The book focuses on the unfolding of love in three movements: “segments,” “awakening,” and “overflow”—chronicling the depths of love’s unpredictability.
Despite the fleeting complexities of love, in Moments in Love, Capdevila’s words give a gentle reminder to stay present through it all. Ahead of the book’s release (January 21), Capdevila gave us insight on setting boundaries through unconditional love, the energy healing of Reiki and how to calm anxieties around relationships.
Jaelani Turner-Williams: What experiences led you to write Moments in Love?
Amor Capdevila: I never had the intention of actually writing a book, but was more so inspired to put together poems that I had written through a certain period of time in my life where I used poetry as a means of processing the heaviness I was feeling. Once I decided it would be nice to bind these feelings together, I felt others may also resonate with these words, helping us find connection and healing together.
Have you seen commonalities between your family of origin and the relationships you’ve been in?
Absolutely, there were a lot of learned patterns of accepting and giving love that were fulfilling, but also many that I took into my relationships and found how they minimized my true feelings and created an environment for codependency and lack of self love. [There were] many moments of personal growth and having to find new ways of expressing healthier ways to love.
Were there any authors or poets you looked to as guides while writing the book?
I love Cleo Wade and Orion Carloto, and have resonated so much with their writing and in turn helped me find my own voice, sharing words of wisdom and love through my own experiences.
Being a Reiki practitioner, how do you incorporate love into the healing technique?
Reiki within itself is the force of unconditional love. Reiki is the tool that helps [practitioners] create safe spaces of exchanging that love in conjunction with our natural traits. I love gathering and creating an open space to ask questions to help us unpack the heaviness we carry and through reiki and sharing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves, we are able to swim in love together through our healing.
It’s the lack of love we are experiencing which catapults us into expressing anger; that within itself is an act of feeling which is love…Feeling is love.Amor Capdevila
There’s a gentle tone throughout Moments of Love, but you’re not afraid to write about anger, like in the poem “dear child, it is not your fault.” How can anger be considered a language of love?
Love is always present, even in the moments of loss or anger. It’s the lack of love we are experiencing which catapults us into expressing anger; that within itself is an act of feeling [which] is love. We are honoring ourselves and giving space to move through the stages of healing. Feeling is love. It’s freedom to be human and honor where you are in that moment.
Was there a certain poem that was most difficult to share with readers?
There were a few that came from a deep place, but the one that was deeply rooted was “to the person who may have loved me the most.” It was about the loss of my grandmother, who basically raised me. The feeling of loss of the most unconditional version of love you have experienced is hard to swallow no matter how much time has passed.
The book tackles unconditional love, like in the poem “the chance to love,” which humanizes a partner who causes suffering. Is there space for a person to give unconditional love while setting boundaries?
Absolutely. The act of setting boundaries is, to me, a form of unconditional love. We are showing our partner or ex-partner an honest and healthier way to love: creating space to open up conversations about what we need in order to find healing and growth and offering them the same opportunity to turn within and ask themselves what they need. It all comes down to being able to be vulnerable and honest.
Instead of living from a place of fear, dive into what you have in front of you.Amor Capdevila
Your poem “droplets” was about remaining present. Staying present in a relationship can be anxiety-inducing to those who are new to experiencing love. How can a person love in the present moment when uncertainty is a constant?
It comes down to knowing that nothing is guaranteed—everything is temporary in life. Instead of living from a place of fear, dive into what you have in front of you. Being honest with where you are and what you’re feeling, freeing yourself from societal constructs of what love is “supposed” to look like and just [absorbing] the love that is right in front of you.
As you’ve experienced different relationships, what do you now know about yourself? Is there anything further you seek to explore?
I have come to know that I am much stronger than I knew. That speaking my truth will attract more of what I truly desire and it enabled me to use my discernment unapologetically. It led me down a road of hard truths, but ultimately to knowing myself better and trusting myself.
I continue to explore how to accept love more into my life, as I have been quite independent and used that as a coping mechanism so I wouldn’t be disappointed by others. Allowing myself to accept help and love from others.
What do you hope readers learn about navigating relationships after reading Moments of Love?
I hope readers can find the space to honor and process their own experiences, knowing that none of it is incorrect or something to be ashamed of. Honor everything you feel as it helps you build a more trusting relationship with yourself and gives others the opportunity to experience love with you in the most honest way. Knowing no love is lost, we only have moments to gain through the emptiness and the fullness of it all.