I Don’t Miss You (Poem)

Words by Raymar Crosby. Art by Sam Liacos.

I don’t miss you

I miss how important you made me feel
I miss how you made my world seem so vast and thrilling
I miss how you fed my ego
I miss how it felt to be inside of you, wrapped up in you

I don’t miss you

I know that because I’m still selfish
I know that because even after we talk or see each other, I’m fine with not talking to you
I know that because I’ve heard you cry and it didn’t move me
I know that because sometimes I’m with you and I wonder if this is it
I know that because when we fight I say things I know will make you crumble
I know that because you’ve never changed your number and still I never call you

I don’t miss you

I tell myself this to get along with my life
I tell myself this because it hurts to know that I didn’t measure up
I tell myself this because I didn’t pour into you the way you poured into me
I tell myself this because I know I would ruin your life
I tell myself this because I would rather someone else break your heart
I tell myself this because I know you would never break mine

I don’t miss you

I tell myself this every night I’ve gone to sleep without you, regardless of who is hopping in and out of my bed, trying to love me, and trying to fill the hole you left in my heart. No matter how many times I look at your picture, pictures of us, I know the memories you’re making with someone else, at this very moment, is what’s best for you.

I don’t miss you because if I did, you’d be here.